Scott Tinley, two-time winner of Hawaii Ironman, was recently interviewed on the Legends of Triathlon podcast. He mentioned how triathlon has a tendency to foster narcissism in the participants taking it too seriously. This comment halted my forward momentum on a foam roller massaging my quads in anticipation of my track workout scheduled for the next morning while drinking my recovery potion with the perfect mix of spirulina, CoQ10 and antioxidants, wearing two different types of compression apparel (calf sleeves & tights) and waiting for my ice bath to fill. How ironic.
The tendency to be experienced as narcissistic haunts me and sends me running scared of spending too much time with overly obsessed and self important triathletes more concerned with the latest aero helmet or their own glistening muscles than gratitude for being able to experience magical places, meet interesting people, develop a strong healthy body or inspire others to participate in sport thanks to their own example. It is also why it takes me so long to post new blog updates that report something meaningful no matter who logs on. I ponder endlessly with what subject to write about or what message to share since surely my pool times, bike intervals or run splits interest people less than my own intrigue with retelling them. Isn’t reading about meaningful experiences far more engaging than how awesome I felt on a six-hour bike ride after a 5km morning swim and quick 45-minute transition run (my days never look like this)? Quite frankly, when friends report unprompted on the minute detail of an epic workout, my ears shut out all sound and my mind goes blank for fear my apathy will show through.
Don’t get me wrong, I find myself as curious as the next guy about Chrissie Wellington, Chris McCormack and the Brownlie brother’s training program, what they had for breakfast, how they carry their salt tabs and what mental tricks they play to stay focused. I seek out little nuggets of insight in hopes of learning something new that will help me reach new levels of fitness and performance. But I would hope, after all the years of racing and training (and life), this information is assimilated with what is already working in relation to my reality. More importantly, that I am giving my best effort regardless of numbers, bike weight, wheel depth, medals or weekly training hours.
Lest we forget, triathlon is an individual sport. It can be very isolating. It can lead to a sense of imbalance with little to no empathy left over for much else. It is therefore no surprise how the occasional triathlete has narcissistic tendencies or selfish and egotistical character traits.
Let me spare you the time to find a direct link to the Wikipedia definition of Narcissism:
“In everyday speech, "narcissism" often means egoism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others. In psychology, the term is used to describe both normal self-love and unhealthy self-absorption due to a disturbance in the sense of self.”
Further down the definition are seven deadly sins of narcissism:
1. Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
2. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
3. Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
4. Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
5. Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
6. Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
7. Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.
Calling all triathletes narcissistic is incredibly over generalized, unfair and simply untrue. To simply be aware of this tendency and admit to the reality is a fair statement and can even be used to enjoy the sport more.
Scott Tinley’s interview came on the heels of reading my coach’s retirement blog, which revealed similar observations as Mr. Tinley.
Jasper is entertaining, insightful and honest. It is absolutely worth a read.
Jasper is entertaining, insightful and honest. It is absolutely worth a read.
In his first few paragraphs, Jasper says:
“This blog post is long overdo because I retired at the end of August but quite honestly I sometimes struggle with the whole notion of the social media world we live in these days. It seems quite self-serving and narcissistic to even contemplate writing about oneself. Like really, do people honestly give a shit? If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that nobody gives a shit more about your shit than you do. Yet we tend to think everyone does actually give a shit but here’s the problem; most of us are so consumed with our own shit we don’t actually care that deeply about someone else’s shit unless it somehow affects our own shit. Twitter, Facebook, blogs- all are weird ways to get attention but at the same time it’s a cool way to share stuff. So sometimes I’ve felt like putting this blog up and sometimes I read it and think, “wow who gives a shit?””
When I read his entry, I found myself nodding, laughing out loud, experiencing a long overdue reality check not to mention learning about his earlier years and evolution of who he is today. As I have mentioned in a few entries, Jasper’s outlook on sport and self is based on principle and integrity with a light hearted attitude on things that don’t really matter (i.e. results) while underscoring significant importance on things that do matter (i.e. doing your best). He is unwaveringly consistent with his “rules” of life as a friend, coach and mentor. His most admirable character trait is that he never takes anything personally (Rule #1). No need for him to, he knows where he stands, with two feet firmly planted on the ground making him the antithesis of narcissistic. How lucky am I to have him in my life and influence my perspective and belief systems.
So here I sit, three weeks post an Olympic Triathlon race http://www.triseries.ca/ (Victoria, June 17th) I wasn’t sure would be possible after fracturing my hip in September and preparing for another race tomorrow (Vancouver, July 8th). There is a sense of calmness, appreciation, giddiness and elation passing through me. Why I decided to write about narcissism eludes me but if nothing else it will serve to remind me of this unattractive character trait I hope to keep at bay.
Tomorrow’s race starts on the edge of Vancouver taking the athletes into the Pacific Ocean followed by multiple loops around the University of British Columbia’s world-renowned campus and a finishing run leg out and back on the beach front walkway. There will be the odd “Joe” lining up their gels with precision on the top tube of their bike, organizing their transition zone Martha Stewart style, checking and rechecking their tire pressure or monitoring their heart rate and pacing to the beat and millisecond in the fanciest new neon runners and compression socks.
But, like water off a duck’s back, none of that matters. We are all in the sport for our own reasons. If at the end of the day, we pass on a little inspiration with selfless intention using sport as a platform for a larger audience than ourselves, narcissism won’t haunt us.
Oh and by the way, I won.
